Answering the question: “Who am I becoming?”

I took this photo in 2019 on a trip to Las Vegas for an Atlassian conference. I finagled my friends into going with me, and we stopped at the side of the road to look at a cactus. Snapped this photo with my film camera.

RIP, Jeff. Feel like I actually got to know you on that trip.

I’ve been trying to carry this question this year. After 7 years of a ton of change, disruption and difficulty, 2026 feels like it might have the right energy for it.

I’m starting to recover from chronic migraines. I have a job I like, which is possibly the first time in checks notes - 6 years? since I’ve had a job I don’t hate? My dog isn’t sick. My husband’s work is stressful, but he’s healthy. I’m relatively healthy and am starting to have energy for the first time in about 6 years.

So the question, “Who am I becoming?” feels both like a good one to ask and I also feel like I’m a bit of a crazy person. Who am I becoming asks us to specifically call out, “How do I want to be in the world?”

• How do I want to show up?

• At work?

• At home?

• With my family?

• With my friends?

How do I want to be? Who am I becoming?

In a world gone mad, I want to carry the energy of an anchor - something sure, something solid, something grounded. It’s not that I have all the answers or know everything, but having been #throughsomethings I’m now deciding how I want to be.

That doesn’t mean I get to control every aspect of my health, body, energy levels. Instead, it’s asking in spite of all that, how do I want to be in the midst of this?

Last week, I had the opportunity to hear Kate Bowler speak about her newest book, about finding the joy anyway. Stage 4 cancer? Is there any joy in that? Maybe now there is.

Maybe it’s just my experience in life but some of the funniest and most fun people are the ones who have been through Some Stuff™. And we’ve all been through Some Stuff™. Some of us more than others. And yet. We have a choice after Some Stuff™ shows up in our lives.

Do I want to stay the same or do I want to grow through this?

The same is true at work and in our careers. When we face the challenge, we must change. Often this requires us to change how we are doing something, or how we are responding to a situation.

But instead of blindly adopting new practices or new ways of doing something, you might pause and ask yourself, “Who am I becoming? And how does this contribute to that becoming?”

Does it make it easier to be the person you want to be? Or does it make it harder?

While one decision may not make or break who you are becoming, I love this quote from Emily P. Freeman.

The bigger truth is our daily decisions are making our lives.

Our decisions do end up making our lives. Staying in a job or taking a new one. Trying something new or staying. Seeking more alignment with who you are. All of these gradual choices end up making our lives.

If you look at the sum total of your life so far, who are you becoming? What paths are you on? And how do you align your decisions - at work, at home, in your community - with your path?