Being Your “Best Self”
It was 2019. Pre-COVID. I was starting to question if it was possible for me to both be a “good product manager” and be myself.
It was a chaotic time. I was working on a new, highly visible product. While not my first zero-to-one product, it was my second. I was 2 years into my product management career.
I felt like I was having to morph into something I wasn’t to be able to do the job. It was like I needed to be constantly on, all the time. And while I was great at managing the chaos, the cost was ultimately very high in terms of stress, which led to debilitating chronic health issues.
Because while I could manage all of the chaos…I didn’t ultimately want to be managing all of the chaos.
I’m a quiet, shy, introverted person by nature. I’m very direct in most of my communication, quite unfiltered. I don’t love performing, as it costs me quite a lot of energy. The older I have gotten, the more I’ve accepted that I am who I am.
I need plenty of time to think through problems. I ask questions like it’s my job, because it is. I often wonder aloud about how the universe works, or why it works the way it works.
I’m contemplative by nature. I don’t mind a fast-paced environment, as long as I can think through the implications of the change.
Fast forward a couple of years,
A quick sketch of the idea I’ve been wrestling with lately.
A grid describing masking vs. unmasking
The questions I’ve been carrying lately are:
What do I need to be true to feel like I am thriving?
How do I create the right environment for that?
How do I start from that foundation of the right environment?
Regularly asking myself if I like the way I am being and showing up.
As I’ve started to explore this, it’s looked like:
Recognizing what zaps my energy levels and leaning into the things that increase my energy vs. trying to fix the things that decrease my energy.
Finding the places I can mask less. As someone with ADHD and chronic illness, I have tried to lean into the places I can be most myself.
Making things when I feel the urge, instead of trying to force it, even if that thing is small.
I’ve leaned into all of this at work, too, decreasing the number of meetings I’m attending so that I can focus on driving the products I’m responsible for forward.
It’s counterintuitive, but the more I’ve focused on the ability to be myself the more I’ve been able to enjoy my work life, and the more the work has moved the right things forward. While some of that is just basic focus, it does feel like being able to bring my own gifts and talents to bear has made a significant dent in the progress the larger team has made.
So - let me ask you.
Where can you most be yourself? How can you create an environment to be most yourself? What gifts and way of being can you most bring to the world?
If exploring these types of questions in a group or 1-on-1 setting would be helpful, check out the upcoming Product Growth coaching group or reply to this email and let me know you’re interested in an exploration session.
What’s Got My Attention Lately
Clues by Sam - a fun little logic puzzle.
This quote from Nic Antoinette on the Off The Grid podcast: “The question that I had really was, who am I without work? And I think this is something that a lot of people can relate to. I think it's something that a lot of self-employed people who have made their passions or part of their identity part of the way that they earn money, especially people like me who came at it from more of a personal branding context, that there is so much of the self involved.”
In a similar vein to what I wrote this week, this podcast on your needs being the path to having a successful business was really inspiring.
